Hangover Pie

Late night? Feelin about 4%.  Gut growling, and you are only going to able to stand for 2 mins before the spins take over and you start praying to that white porcelain god. Well the Shirtless Chef has got your back once again.  This one takes prep, but its done the day before you go melt your face off.  

Prep; 10 mins

Get in your whip and punch it chewy to the nearest Little Ceasers.  

Throw $5.25 on the counter, tell'em you want a pepperoni hot and ready.

Tell'em Kinloch sent ya.  Then leave when they give you a confused look as to what the hell your talkin about. 

Eat a few slices on the way home.  Spill on your shirt, then just wear a hoody out later on instead of changing.  

Prep stage 2;

Curb stomp whiskey down your throat hole $183.25

Take the bus home $-? I dont know what it costs, last time I took one tanked I gave the guy 20 and told him to get me close to Willowgrove.

Land half on the bed, half off and only remove one shoe.  

Now that the easy part is out of the way, lets get that hurting gut filled up!

Drag your sorry ass out of bed, mumble to yourself as you question the one shoe.

Find pizza box on counter, opened and waiting.  Throw whats left into the microwave, this time there just happened to be a plate left in there.  I suggest, as usual....no plate.  Hit like 42 buttons til there is way to much time on there then start.  Impatiently wait 9 seconds, til there is no way that it is ready, and yank it out.  Drag yourself back to your bad and mash the pie into your face.  Wipe mouth on pillow case and go back to sleep.

Party on Wayne, and party on Garth.

Move over ladies!

With the influx of women blogging about intricate dishes filled with nutmeg. vegetables and 4 hrs of prep, I decided the fellas out there could use a little help. So here is my first food blog entry. Bon apple tit!

Ghetto Dogs; AKA Prison weenies

Ingredients;
White buns *note* Regular ass buns, nothin fancy...
Weenies *note* nothin special here, prefer schnieders
Mustard- yellow


Directions;

First things first. Ditch the shirt. Grease burns are cool when you get them and your just gonna spill the food on that shirt anyways.  Keeping it clean now helps it look acceptable to wear again tomorrow.
Now,
Throw however many weenies you want in the microwave.  I like 3-4 myself.
For best results and less clean up, don't put them on a plate.
Cook time approx; 1 min per 2 dogs. Add a little extra time if you like  the jerky style.
Adjust accordingly if you are using a ghetto microwave. Some of you may need 4-5 mins.
Remove from microwave with fingers and swear as you are burned by hot grease.
Add mustard
Consume.

For presentation factor set each dog on the counter. Any crumbs left behind be sure to sweep onto the floor for the dog to enjoy. Goes well with the remaining warm grape soda that is left in the 2 liter bottle on the counter.

And there you have it. A meal in under 5 mins with no clean up and zero nutritional value.

Check back in and see future crap that I consume on a daily basis, while somehow managing to maintain the figure of a gold medal olympic bowler.